For ME Awareness Week, we asked Kirsty Cartwright, one of the Solicitors in our Lifetime Planning Team what it is like to work, and live, with a chronic health condition, as she has been living with ME for several years. Read below to find out how she got her diagnosis and how ME impacts her day-to-day.
Symptoms and getting my diagnosis.
In 2016 I had just given birth to my second son. I had lingering back problems from pregnancy but didn’t let this stop me from being active and enjoying life with my beautiful family.
In the months that followed, I got progressively more tired and run down but I put this down to having a baby who didn’t like to sleep!
Over the next few years my pain got worse, not better, and I found myself unable to keep up with daily life. I would come home from a 9-hour day of being a busy solicitor and fall asleep before the children, and on my days off, I would just about recover enough to begin the cycle again on Monday morning.
In 2019 I reached the conclusion there was something seriously wrong. I went to my GP, and I said that I thought I either had M.E, fibromyalgia, or cancer. I couldn’t think of any other explanation of why my whole body hurt every day, and whenever I did ANYTHING (even something innocuous like walking to the shop or cleaning up at home) I would need to sleep for hours afterwards and wake up feeling like I’d run a marathon or been run over by a bus!
She asked me some questions and immediately agreed she thought it was ME.
I didn’t really know anything about it, beyond people treating it like a pretend illness, and not believing those who have it. I have probably been guilty of this myself in the past. It is so invisible, and the effects are so profound, that I would also struggle to believe that it is real, if I hadn’t felt the effects myself. It has an undeserved reputation for being something people invent so they can shirk working and lay in bed all day. This means that so many people with M.E struggle to be taken seriously and to be heard. I do feel that because I am a Solicitor, my doctor took me more seriously, and I was immediately referred to a specialist. It then took 9 months, during covid, for me to receive an official diagnosis. I have had some very bleak points throughout the years where I struggled to see how there could be any light at the end of the tunnel.
How I am today.
Today my life looks very different to before, but I am so thankful that I have managed to maintain my legal career. I have had to make life much smaller and manage my expectations of what I can achieve and do, but overall life is much more positive. I am very lucky to now be able to work part-time, which allows me to work as much as I feel able to and also allows me to rest and recover when I need to. A key tool to living with M.E. is something called “pacing” where you basically pace yourself, and try to use the energy you actually have, not the amount of energy you wish you had or feel you should have. This means I also have energy and headspace left over each week to dedicate to family life and the things that matter to me.
My husband in particular has been an incredible support, and didn’t hesitate to pick up the load of things I can no longer do. Due to the extent of my pain, I have also since been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, and my mobility is now very limited, which is difficult to accept in your early forties.
Invisible illnesses are very real – if you met me, you would probably struggle to believe I am ill. Having a supportive employer is key, and I am feeling much more positive about the future and feel more supported since working at Maxwell Hodge, which I am grateful for.
A quote that I have grown to appreciate is “I am not faking being sick, I am faking being well” and I think anyone touched by M.E can probably relate to this.
Definition and symptoms of ME
Source: ME Association
- ME stands for myalgic encephalomyelitis or encephalopathy and it is also known as CFS (chronic fatigue syndrome).
- It is a multisystemic disease involving the brain, muscle, immune and hormone producing systems.
- It is estimated that between 130,000 and 260,000 people in the UK have ME/CFS.
Symptoms include:
- Profound debilitating fatigue with worsening of this exhaustion after activity.
- Cognitive dysfunction (poor short-term memory & concentration).
- Unrefreshing sleep or sleep disturbance.
Getting Help:
The ME Association: www.meassociation.org.uk
Helpline freephone number: 0808 801 0484
Monday – Friday: 10am-6pm
Thursday: late night until 9pm
Saturday – Sunday: 10am-12noon
